The morning muddle: How far do you go with someone else’s dog?
So I start off the new blog with a problem, one with no real solution, involving a dog who lives in my home but doesn’t belong to me.
Her name is Torky, that’s her at right, and she’s a wonderful shepherd mix with more than her fair share of intelligence. She’s 7 but she may not be making it to 8, and on that fact hangs the problem.
To back up …
About this time last year, I became aware that someone with whom I’d once worked had lost his job, marriage and house, and was living with his dog in an battered Subaru wagon on the beaches of Humboldt County. I was getting ready to leave for two months for a 30-city book tour, so I asked Ed if he’d like to live in my home while I was gone.
I returned in June, and Ed and his dog are still here months later.
This mostly happened because the battered Subaru broke down, and Ed had no place to go, no money and no car to leave in. We made some agreements, I set some ground rules and we got along mostly fine, staying out of each others’ way as much as we could.
Still, I made it clear ours was a temporary situation, and I’ve told him for certain that he’s not moving to the new house with me in a couple months.
I want my space back, selfish as that may be.
Where he’ll go and what he’ll do I don’t know. Job-hunting isn’t going well, even though he is looking and looking. But, as I said, Ed’s not going to be my problem anymore in a couple of months. His car is sort of functional now, and after a year, it’s be time for him to move on. As I’ve told him, letting him live here for so long, for no rent and at my expense, is nothing short of co-dependency, and that isn’t helping him at all.
But now there’s the problem with Torky.
When Ed arrived last spring before I left on tour, Torky’s right rear pad was bleeding. It looked like a simple cut to me, so I cleaned it and bandaged it. When Ed said it got worse while I was on the road, I called a veterinarian friend and asked her to look at it. She, too, guessed it for a pad cut. They’re notoriously hard to heal, but antibiotics seemed to help, and life (and my book tour) went on.
When I got home, it was obvious that the pad hadn’t healed at all. There were bloody paw prints throughout the house, and twice, maybe three times more, I paid for Torky to see a veterinarian. After antibiotics last fall, again, the pad looked much better. Ed kept a boot on Torky’s foot to protect it, and when I saw the dog limping a little a couple weeks ago, I pushed Ed to start soaking the foot in Epsom salts.
Torky is his dog and his responsibility, and I was trying to let him deal with it.
And then Sunday when I saw she was limping badly, I picked up the pad myself to look. I didn’t like what I saw, and neither, a couple days later, did my veterinarian. The day after that, yesterday, Torky was in surgery to try to find the problem inside the painful paw.
My veterinarian’s gut feeling? Tumor.
The good news, of course, is that if you have cancer, a paw pad isn’t a bad place to have it. There’s no sign that any malignancy has spread, and if we do get the worst news, there are very good treatment options.
Were she my dog, I’d be looking at them all, including radiation and/or amputation.
Except of course, she’s not my dog.
Strangely enough, I had a feeling something like this would happen. That’s why I paid for a high-deductible pet-health insurance plan for Torky last fall, just in case. A good plan, except for the fact that whatever’s going on here is a pre-existing condition, as in “not covered.”
Now, I’m already into his dog for a couple grand, and I’m tapped out. I don’t have any more for her. I need every penny now to move into the new home, and to feed and care for all the animals for whom I truly am responsible — two horses, three dogs, a cat, two ducks and nine chickens.
We find out Monday the results of the biopsy. If Torky’s very, very lucky it’s an out-of-control infection, although the antibiotic therapy, I know, will be long and expensive.
If it’s a malignancy? I just don’t know what to do.
Either way, it’s going to be more than I can cover. And Ed? Still no job, and no apparent prospects for one.
Yes, I see the parallel here: This is what my veterinary friends deal with every day. Treatable pets and people who truly love them … but can’t pay to have them treated. There’s even a name for it: Economic Euthanasia.
Quite frankly, this is what Torky may be looking at next week. Again, I just don’t know.
In the what-the-hell category, here’s a chip-in:
31 Comments to “The morning muddle: How far do you go with someone else’s dog?”
Leave a Reply
Oh, boy, you’re back!!!! Grrrrrreat!
I don’t know what to do either, but we threw some money in the pot. It will buy time, at least.
I don’t know why the Chipin isn’t changing because people have indeed started to donate. Haven’t done this before. Am I doing something wrong? Anyone know?
WTH; that’s why I keep money sitting in PayPal. Good luck to you, Torky and Ed.
What an awful problem! And I know it’s no comfort to know you’ve already done more than most would have.
Donated and shared. And very happy to see everyone together again!
I’ve gotten the notices and receipts from both ChipIn and Paypal, so my transaction went through ok.
What’s the chipin url, Gina? I’ve had such things happen before… maybe a look will clear it up. God, I feel for you. This is such a hard spot to be in. No easy answers. Got any rescue group resources? Would someone be willing to collect donations for her? Sometimes the tax-deductible option helps bring in more. Any deals with the vet for Ed paying back over time? (yeah, I know the likelihood on several fronts…) You might contact a vet oncologist (vetcancergroup.com is veterinary cancer group here in orange county) and see if there are any kinds of grants/funds for paying for such …
The money is in my paypal account, but the chipin display isn’t moving. :(
For far: $165! Thank you ALL so much!
Here’s the web page for Torky’s chipin:
http://torky.chipin.com/mypages/view/id/3579849a0b64ba2b
I refreshed the page and then the Chip-in widget updated.
I’m afraid all my disposable income right now is going towards treating my cat’s mammary cancer. But has Ed looked into IMOM-type veterinary hardship organizations? (There are a few out there, although in this economy, it wouldn’t surprise me a bit to learn they’re all pretty much tapped.)
Barring that – if the chipin can’t handle the entirety of Torky’s care, I might be inclined to see if there’s a rescue who would take her on. And yes, I’m talking about Ed signing her over. Because at that point, she may very well qualify as a dog in need of rescue, sorry to say.
I’ve honestly never seen a dog more bonded to her person than Torky is. And vice versa. Him giving her up is about the worst thing that could happen for either of them, in my opinion.
Torky barely acknowledges that my dogs and I live here at all. For her, there is only Ed in this world.
Part of me wants to just be quiet and click somewhere else.
Another (bigger!) part of me wants to say WELCOME BACK! Good to have *the gang* regathered.
This post hits home. Got a call last night from a neighbor/rescue friend. A neighbor friend of hers dropped off an intact female sled dog pup that was grossly underweight, sick, and injured besides. (Maybe 6 months old?)
My friend doesn’t have transportation, nor as direct a link to vet help as I do, so she called me. The pup seems to have chewed through a leash or tether of some sort. No idea how long she’s been roaming about. She’s got an unexplained lump on her head, and what appears to be a bullet hole in her butt. Infected, of course.
The people who gave her the dog say they like her, and they’d be happy to have her. But they didn’t want to provide funds for vet care and were not interested in rehabilitating her (or, I suspect–making a decision about life or death on her behalf.) If they took her to Animal Control her chances would be 50/50 on life vs death, no matter her medical diagnosis! With the rescue network, I’m pretty sure if she’s medically viable, she’ll live.
But who’s going to pay for it? My friend is already starting her on antibiotics and sub Q fluids. I’m waiting for a call back from my vet to take my neighbor and this new rescue in for an exam. That part will probably be for free.
After that? A chip-in, a barter, or a maxed out credit card? Dunno. We’ll see.
I’m gonna be a snark. Ed’s dog–Ed’s problem. $175 is a drop in the bucket for what you’ve already invested, and it won’t begin to cover what *might* come next, unless you’ve got some benevolent vet connections like I have?!
When we paid to have Abner’s hind leg amputated (a bigger project than my vet wanted to tackle alone.) The top bone guy in the state asked: *Am I taking this leg off so that somebody else can kill this dog?* And I was flummoxed! Does that sort of thing really happen?
Apparently.
I recently bought the Euthanasia Log for 2011 from our local Animal Control. My vet requested that I look to see if and when a couple of different patients of hers were euthanized. Seems Animal Control has taken to getting intact animals spayed or neutered on the cheap (my vet is the local bargain) but then euthanizing them later when no adopter chooses them and they get sick or kennel crazy.
I don’t have the answers, and I frankly HATE the questions! But I’m glad to see you tackle the really tough stuff here. Thanks. A very bold beginning. Sorry to be such a sour-puss.
p.s. I hope nobody berates or belittles Ed if he chooses death over a life of financial suicide. HE is the owner, it is HIS choice! (And I don’t even want to think about the number of goody-two-shoes rescue folks who will bad-mouth him or list him as a do-not-adopt candidate.)
Wow, as a vet & as the owner of a dog going through his second cancer therapy I can tell you it won’t be cheap. At this point Ed may have to make some choices- perhaps sell some things, look to barter for vet care – mow, mop floors, etc.
I cancelled some things, searched for more work, etc to be sure I could cover what Hokey needed. And no even vets don’t get covered fully by professional courtesy or friends.
A bit of tough love here – has Ed tried looking for every kind of work? Maybe not what he trained for, graduated in, etc but anything?
I can imagine the mental stress he is going through. But usually there is a way if you work at it.
On the flip side, a similar topic came up elsewhere recently. A kitten with a broken leg shows up – $400 to fix it (at cost – amazingly people seem to think vets have no costs!) So should the vet donate $400 to fix that one kitten or make a shelter doantion of that $400 & possibly save 4 kittens?
Hard decisions & perhaps no easy or “right” answers.
Couldn’t do much right now, as I am moving myself. But I did “chip in” a bit. I didn’t know all that was going on in your life…sheesh, woman!
I raised money for a friend who needed to find funds for her kitty’s surgery. She’s a hard-working single mom. Works 50+ hours a week, but there are so many jobs like that. You can work and work and work and not make a bit of progress.
I went to a foundation and had a discussion about this situation with them. She was good for the money, just not up front. And in a position to raise even more money long term because of her line of work. But most help is for homeless animals, understandably. However, that’s sort of reactionary in comparison to this situation. It becomes part of the problem. She could surrender the animal and he would potentially get the surgery needed. Or keep the animal and he wouldn’t. It just doesn’t make sense. Especially because she could pay it back.
I think that if there were more foundations that helped pet parents through hard times, more often than not, those pet parents would give back. Way back when we got our cats as kittens, we took advantage of a low cost spay neuter clinic at a local cat shelter. I’ve taken part in their fundraisers, made donations as I could and plan to do more for them in the future. At this point, I’ve payed beyond full price and I’m happy to continue to give them more. They helped me out and I help them out. We all won.
Sorry to hear this news. Happy to see this blog! YAY!
I hope Ed finds something. We’re struggling here, too. It’s a really bumpy road to be on.
There ARE no “right” answers, and that’s the one thing I’m sure of. I think of how many times I’ve seen people who have lost their homes trashed for “dumping” their pets at shelters, missing completely the idea that “sheltering” pets for rehoming is *supposed* to be what these places are for.
Before he came here to house-sit, he was offered a couple of places to live that would have required him to give up his dog. He would not, and chose to live in his car instead.
His loyalty to his dog is one of the main reasons why I let him stay on after I came home from the book tour.
I know he has looked non-stop for work. I also know he’s going to have to give up his idea of getting a job in his field and take what he can, if he can get it.
In the meantime, welll … Torky. I don’t have an answer, and neither does anyone else.
There’s a need organization near me in NJ called Seer Farms. What they do is “rescue” an animal WHILE the owner is having trouble (foreclosure, etc). The farm feeds them and keeps them healthy, then when the owner is back on their feet again they can take their beloved pet home. I think it’s a lovely idea, I support them when I can. I wonder if there is anything like that on the west coast. Even if it’s not the right option for your friend.
Sorry, meant to put a link: http://seerfarms.org/
Gina,
Please give him this website:
http://www.face4pets.org/
Maybe they can help.
I feel for Ed and his predicament. You are a very good person, Gina, for taking him in. :-) I would hope to think I would do the same for someone. Well, I am sure I would, at least, do it for the dog. So, I am throwing my two cents into the pot. Well, maybe a little more than two cents. Good luck Torky, I hope you get what you need and that you will be there for Ed for years to come.
In threw in a few pennies! God knows I’m a sucka! I’ve had this blocked not-my-cat in the hospital for two weeks now. You have no idea how much grief my bosses heap on me every day about Mr. Freebie! But he’s SO worth it. I mean, what cat do you know of that rolls over on command even with a huge plastic e-collar around his head?
(OK, I know I’m off the rez w my kitty comments but I canna help myself.)
What a great first post…Hope the ChipIn keeps climbing. It is so hard to lose our buddies to illness or accident but to have to lose them due to a financial problem is heartbreaking. I gladly am giving up my 2 weeks of coffee on the way to work for Torky and his 2 legged pal…Thanks Gina…You have a great heart.
Torky and HER 2 legged pal…sorry…?
Torky and HER 2 legged pal…sorry…?
Carol V 20 January 2012 at 4:19 am
—-
She’s used to it. Everyone thinks she’s a boy.
And everyone always thought my poor little Papillon was a girl because he was so pretty. He never minded the attention it got him, however!
Please note: It seems everyone is getting an e-mail “from PayPal” saying that the donations didn’t go through. They did. I suspect this is some kind of spam,and I reported it to PP.
Delete the e-mails.
PLEASE check out http://www.imom.org – this organization helps people who cannot afford their vet bills. Best of luck!
ED- If what you’re doing isn’t working… you’ve got to change something you’re doing. (Look in a new area, apply for things you rather not … go to a temp agency.) If you would like your resume redesign and are serious, my offer still stands.
E