Things Not to Say to the Owners of Small Dogs
“Oh, so yours is one of those ankle-biters.”
No. My dog, all fifteen pounds of her, is a Canine Good Citizen. She loves people, she especially loves kids, and she loves kids even when they’re doing the very things you don’t want kids to do around dogs: move quickly and unexpectedly, speak in high, excited voices, and grab random canine body parts that happen to come within reach.
Can you say the same for your dog?
“Oh, you’ve got one of those little yappers.”
My dog does let me know when someone is on my tiny urban property. She lets me know when something unusual is happening. I suspect yours does too; you just don’t call it “yapping” when your hundred-pound behemoth does it. But a few years ago, my tenant in the other apartment was surprised to discover that I hadn’t been kidding, that I really did have a dog. This was after she’d lived there almost three months, and happened to see me coming back from a walk with my dog.
“My dog could eat your dog for breakfast.”
This is, apparently, supposed to be a joke. A really funny joke. And only complete humorlessness can explain why the owners of small dogs don’t find it funny. Or so I’ve been told.
Your dog, though, is big enough to roast for a really fine family feast.
What, you don’t find that funny? Why not?
“I could kick your dog across the room.”
Yeah, probably. The thing is, I could kick your dog, too, and properly aimed, that kick could do a lot of damage, even if you don’t find the visual image as entertaining. Also, there’s the little issue of animal cruelty involved in doing so.
Yes, I get that that’s another one of those “joke” things. I don’t find this one funny, either.
“Gee, your dog really doesn’t like other dogs, does she.”
This one is normally heard over the sound of my dog expressing her outrage at the idiot retriever that just knocked her over. And no, she doesn’t like rude idiots who knock her over. Not even if they are “friendly” and “just playing.” Most often, these are Goldens. If I didn’t know Goldens who are working guide dogs, I would be inclined to think that no Golden has more than two brain cells to rub together. I’ve seen very excited Labs respond to Addy’s signals that she’s not comfortable with a rapid approach and slow down to let her get more comfortable. I’ve never seen a Golden do that, except for the aforementioned guide dogs, who tend to have excellent manners whether working or off-duty.
“Why don’t you let your dog be a dog instead of putting her in those ridiculous clothes?”
My dog is, as mentioned, fifteen pounds. She also has a natural coat that isn’t particularly weather-resistant, and since she’s at her proper, healthy weight, with great muscle tone, she doesn’t have the insulation of that layer of fat that whale you’re walking has. Even this relatively mild winter has had some days in the teens, and Addy doesn’t share my opinion that temps in the mid-thirties are “comfortable.” She shivers, she’s miserable–and the coat, sweater, or jammies make her a lot more comfortable and let her enjoy her walks.
That pit bull you’re walking would probably enjoy a coat, too, in this weather. Just by the way.
“Why don’t you get a real dog instead of that big rat?”
I have a real dog. She’s active, athletic, can breathe easily, and comes from long lines of dogs on both sides of the family who all mated naturally and whelped naturally. Unlike, for instance, that English bulldog you’ve got, there.
I do hope this little guide is helpful.
13 Comments to “Things Not to Say to the Owners of Small Dogs”
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Thank you Lis ! Remy was our 1st small dog [greatly missed ! ] & I can’t believe some of the dumb comments people would make. I also have a beef with people who don’t bother to train their dog just because its small though. No reason a dog of any size shouldn’t be polite & clothed properly for whatever weather they are out in.
Leslie, I’m not really sure what the difference is between not training your Golden or Lab because they’re friendly, and not training your small dog because it’s small. Yet people seem to think there is one, and that it’s important. Owners of well-trained Goldens and Labs don’t appear to feel guilty or embarrassed or on the spot about someone else’s untrained dog of the same breed, let alone one that’s just vaguely in the same size category.
Owners of well-trained small dogs, though, often do seem to feel Collective Guilt for untrained small dogs they don’t own, or even allegedly-untrained small dogs they’ve only heard about from a not-necessarily-reliable third party.
Having owned small dogs in the past – Papillons – I agree totally! Great post.
Thank you for writing this great post! I have miniature schnauzers and shih tzus and hear these types of comments all of the time. Once they get to know my dogs, they usually change their minds. I have recently moved to an area where a large number have large dogs in the back of their pickup trucks. Now I have to be careful because some of these people think it’s funny to threaten little dogs with their big dogs. “Mine’s bigger than yours” kind of mentality, I guess. Of course, there are a lot of wonderful big dogs & owners where I live, especially working dogs.
As much as I wouldn’t say those to someone with a small dog, I do want to say “It’s a dog–treat it like one.”
Clothes–OK. Because, as you mentioned, it’s not just small dogs that might not be as cold-weather-tolerant as the polar bear on the end of the leash across the park.
Let it walk on the ground. Don’t pick it up every time a larger dog comes along (and, as you mentioned, don’t let said larger dog be a nuisance and/or danger to the smaller dog).
Don’t LET it be a “yapper,” and stop attributing its “protective-ness” to the insane barking at the end of the leash, when it’s more likely to be resource guarding (yes, you are a resource) or fear/insecurity issues.
In all honesty, I can’t wait until I have the opportunity to be owned by a small dog so that I too can show people that they can be well-behaved too! I’m proud to say that I’ve met quite a few already, but they are the sad minority…
Now Lis, we only need to make this into a brochure and pass them out by the hundreds!! Thanks for putting into words what I think everytime I hear one of these crass thoughtless comments.
Nancy, that must be scary.
Liz, what I’ve seen of Papillons inthat they’re both beautiful and smart. They must have been fun dogs to live with!
RLNRN, if only we could get the offenders to read that brochure!
Viatecio, my Papillon weighed all of five pounds soaking wet. And let me tell you – the world suddenly looks a WHOLE lot different when the safety of a such a tiny little life becomes entrusted to your care.
So while I totally understand the “Collective Guilt for untrained small dogs they don’t own” and made sure I wasn’t adding to it by ensuring that MY little guy was well-mannered, appropriately quiet, and spent as much time on the ground as possible, you better BET I’d be inclined to pick him up when a Very Large Dog was approaching. Particularly if said Very Large Dog was expressing a lot of interest in this little dog-shaped thing on the ground. And ESPECIALLY if said Very Large Dog was at the other end of a lead from an owner who didn’t seem to have either a lot of control or a lot of interest in where said Very Large Dog was going.
It would take only a moment for my little guy to go from interesting-looking dog-shaped thing on the ground to limp shake-toy, so yes – I would pick him up, and whether and when he got set down again had EVERYTHING to do with my continuing assessment of said Very Large Dog owner.
I don’t apologize for that. I kept my little guy safe and healthy for 16 years. And no one EVER accused him of being anything but cute, charming, and EXCEEDINGLY well-behaved.
THANK YOU.
I once met a bouvier owner, who said something along the lines of “your dog is so small, mine doesn’t even know it’s a dog”
Ha. Ha. Ha.
I was nice enough NOT to reply “so, is it really hard owning a dog that stupid?”
We also need a pamphlet on how not to approach unknown small dogs:
Do NOT lean over the dog, crowd the dog, try to pick up the dog, etc. Just because it’s small doesn’t mean you do not have to treat it with the same respect you would a big dog. And when I tell you NOT to let your kids run/scream at my dogs, don’t glare at me. I’m saving your kid from possible harm and reminding you that you wouldn’t let your kid run up to a large dog in that manner.
Ah, Viatecio, where would we small dog owners be without you to instruct us?
My point that no actual undesirable behavior on my dog’s part is necessary for her to be called a “yapper” or an “ankle biter” seems to have whooshed past over your head. She’ll be criticized and sneered at while sitting quietly by my side. She’ll be criticized and sneered at for behavior the very same person will brag about in their Big Dog.
For instance, as noted, it’s not called “yapping” when a big dog does it, even when the actual behavior is identical.
My dog and I are not responsible for the possible bad behavior of some other small dog you met somewhere else. And we don’t need or want fashion advice from you, either. Which is to say, gee, thanks for the approval on the use of clothes, but I’m not sure why you think you’re in a position to give or refuse said approval.
The OTHER Pat makes an excellent point about the vulnerability of tiny dogs. At fifteen pounds, Addy is less vulnerable to that particular risk, but there have still been a few occasions when I’ve picked her up for her own safety, and no, I don’t particularly care what the owners of big dogs think of it when I find it to be necessary. Their opinion is not relevant, especially when it’s clear they haven’t processed the fact that the Big Dog is displaying predatory, not playful, behaviors.
My little dogs have all had 1:1 training with a great trainer, that is to say I have had training. My vigilance in protecting them is quite high, as well as keeping them from instigating an incident. I was at a university vet clinic the other day checking out, with my 9 lb shih tzu leashed quietly at my feet. The elevator opened and a barking lab charged straight at her. I DID pick her up because the lab’s owner wasn’t in control. Stepping in between them did not stop the lab. She gets along fine with dogs because she is a puppy mill dog who was used to dogs more than people. The reason for the vet visit – broken jaw repair from abuse at the puppy mill. She is not a yapper or instigator. I will protect her and my other dogs when necessary. Training isn’t a one time thing, it’s a life time process.
Heck, I have a 75 lb. rough collie and I don’t let ANY dog of any size, leashed or unleashed, get near him after he got jumped a few times by dogs that seemed “friendly”. I can’t pick him up (that would be a sight), but I decided years ago that I would step between him and the other dog and take one on the leg, if necessary, to protect him. He will not fight back, but only wants to get away.
Hadn’t really thought about the extra vigilance required if one has a little dog who is being approached buy a big dog, but I’d absolutely snatch mine up off the ground. Guilty until proven innocent works for me.